


Cold Sighing and Bold Dying

by orphan_account



Category: The Outsiders - S E Hinton
Genre: M/M, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-24
Updated: 2010-06-24
Packaged: 2017-10-10 06:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/96554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A re-telling of the story from Steve's point of view. Angst and boy-love ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold Sighing and Bold Dying

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tony_snark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tony_snark/gifts).



With the TV blaring and his father snoring, Steve doesn't notice the creak of his porch swing. It's 2 AM in the morning when he gets up to take a piss and notices the dark mass swinging back and forth. He's zipping up his jeans when he opens his screen door to find Sodapop Curtis pushing his feet on the porch, smoking. That's his first sign something was wrong.

The second sign was the small, shaky breaths racking their way through Soda's body, a sharp juxtaposition against the crickets and dim musical jingles of commercials. Steve lights a smoke and sits on the steps.

Soda takes a deep breath. "Ponyboy," he says, before taking along drag of his cigarette.

Steve curses inwardly. If Ponyboy was his own kid brother, he would have knocked some sense into him a long time ago. Soda spoiled him to bits and it drove Steve crazy when he brought him everywhere. But since Soda loved him, Steve tolerated him.

Soda starts again. "He came in late tonight. Had Darry worried sick. Said he and Johnny had fallen asleep in the lot. Of course Darry flipped. I tried to stop them, but they started arguing and then . . ." He placed his head in his hands and breathed in slowly. "Darry hit him and he ran."

"Is the kid alright?" Darry had hit him once, and the bruise on his face had lasted a week.

"I don't know, man. He ran off." Soda sputters.

They sit there for a while. In the distance, they hear a car squeal loudly and voices shout, their words indeciphrable in the night. Cricket chirps slowly blend into the bird song of morning, and the sun rises.

Soda stands. "I should get going. Darry shouldn't worry alone."

"Alright. See you at the station later?"

Soda nods and pats him on the shoulder as he leaves.

Steve tries to go back to sleep unsuccessfully. The sun is already pouring through his window when his head hits the pillow, and his dad shuffles around the house grumbling about breakfast and hangovers. Eventually though, he falls asleep because one minute he's staring at the crack on his yellowed wall, and the next minute Two-Bit is shaking him roughly, screaming about something that Steve can't quite decipher.

"Would you quiet down there for a second Two-Bit? I can't hear myself think!" Steve rolls over and shoves a hand through his hair. "Now what's all the yelling about?"

"Someone killed a Soc!" Two-Bit exclaims, pratically jumping on Steve's bed.

"Killed?!" Steve swallows hard. They've always messed around with the Socs, of course, but to actually kill one?

"You'll never guess who did it!"

"Tim Shepard?"

"Nope!"

"Dally?"

"Guess again!"

"God dammit Two-Bit, just tell me would you?" Steve pushes past him and out into the hallway toward the kitchen.

"Our own Johnny Cade!"

Steve stops suddenly, the air gone from his lungs. Little Johnny, a killer? He swings around and pushes Two-Bit against the wall.

"You better be telling me the truth or I swear I'll . . ."

"I swear, I swear! Dally told me himself. He and Ponyboy showed up at Buck's last night and asked Dally for help."

"Ponyboy?" Steve immediately thinks of Soda. "What does he have to do with this? Do Darry and Soda knowing anything yet?"

"Ponyboy was with him when it happened. Man, Johnny killed the Soc to save Pony from drowning. I mean, that's what ol' Dally said." Two-Bit shrugs and walks around Steve toward the kitchen, opening the fridge and popping open a bottle of beer.

"Two-Bit, what about Darry and Soda?" Steve takes a bottle for himself and downs half of it in about one gulp.

Two-Bit shakes his head furiously, swallowing his beer in a painful gulp. "No one's told them yet. Can you just imagine what Darry will do?"

Steve slams his bottle on the counter and exits the kitchen.

"Hey man, can you drive me into town?"

The slam of a screen door is Two-Bit's only answer.

When Steve gets to the gas station, the usual crowd of ladies are there. However, the usual lady killer is not. Steve searches all around the station and finally finds Soda in the back room, hunched among all the merchandise, another cigarette dangling from his hand.

Shit.

Steve approaches him cautiously, dropping to his knees and placing his hands on Soda's shoulders. "Hey Sodapop. Whatcha doing?"

There's no answer for a bit and Steve is vaguely reminded of the time after Soda's parents died. It had taken a month for Soda to smile again, and Steve still shivers at the memory.

"Hey, c'mon Soda, talk to me. What's going on?"

"Don't treat me like a kid, Steve. You know what's up." Soda flicks his cigarette and an ash flies into Steve's face.

"Look, I don't know what to do here either, Soda." Steve starts pacing the small room. "But I do know that if you keep acting all suspicious like, the cops are going to start sniffing around here for evidence and shit."

"They're going to take my brother, Steve. Throw him into a boy's home or some shit like that. I can't lose him too, Steve. He's all Darry and I got left." Soda sniffs and wipes his nose on his shirt sleeve.

"It's the kid's goddamn fault. Shouldn't have been out at the time of night." Steve knows what he's said is harsh, but that stupid kid caused way too much trouble for his own good.

"Fuck you, Steve Randle." Soda takes one last drag of his cigarette before stomping it out with his shoe and gets back to work.

It never ceases to amaze Steve how the gang seems to know when and where to go if they need to meet up. Tonight, the destination is the Curtis home, right after dinner. The atmosphere is fillled with tension, and even the Mickey Mouse special Two-Bit watches doesn't help at all.

"Dally, you'd tell us if you knew where they went, wouldn't you?" Darry asks from the kitchen, where he finishes washing up the dishes from a day's worth of meals.

"Oh come on, Darry. You know Dally told the kids where to go. That's why they went to him in the first place." Soda throws his hand of cards down on the table, forfeting yet another game of Go Fish.

"Look man, I don't know where Johnny and the kid went. They could be halfway to Texas right now for all I know. I mean, that's what I told the cops." Dally lazily throws another dart at the board, and it falls to the floor.

Soda storms out of the dining room and into his bedroom. A minute later, he comes out with a folded piece of paper in his hand, and hands it to Dally.

"What do you want me to do with that?" Dally mumbles, lighting a cigarette.

"Give it to him." Soda's voice wavers, the hand holding the letter shaking slightly.

"I told you man, I don't know where . . . "

"Yes you do!" Soda shouts. The house falls silent. "I don't care if you don't tell me, Dally. Just make sure it gets to him, alright?"

Dally's eyes flick back and forth between Soda and the letter, between the letter and Soda, before he finally grabs it, stuffing it into his leather jacket.

"Thank you." Soda again walks back to his room, shutting the door with a soft click.

The rest of the gang takes this as a sign to leave. Two-Bit mutters something about six packs and women, while Dally slams the door in farewell. Steve fumbles with the cards on the table as Darry dries his hands on a kitchen towel.

"Feel free to sleep on the couch, Steve." He throws the towel on the counter before heading into his own room.

Steve stacks the deck into a nice pile before grabbing it and throwing the cards at the wall. Some of the cards disappear behind the piano and some land under the fridge in the kitchen. He sighs, grabbing his jacket as he heads toward the front door.

"Steve?"

Steve swings around. Soda's face seems smaller in the doorway with nothing but the moon lighting his features. He reaches out his hand.

"Please stay."

Steve has never slept in the same bed as a guy before. He knows Soda and Ponyboy sleep together all the time, especially since Ponyboy starting having those nightmares. As he curls up under the covers, he can hear Soda's ragged breathing and his own heart begins to race.

Steve went to the city once, and he saw guys doing things with each other that he only does with Evie. He wondered if kissing a guy would be any different than kissing her. Would it be more enjoyable? What about when it came to, well, sex? Steve spent more times than one rolling over this fact in his brain, but when Soda rolls over and starts kissing him, Steve finds that not thinking is the best solution.

They wake to Darry banging around in the kitchen, making breakfast for yet another day. They lie awake next to each other for a long time, not looking at each other, before Soda gets up and out of bed.

"We've got work in an hour Steve," is all he says as he leaves the room.

The next couple of days are full of awkward silences and stolen glances across crowded rooms. Finally, on a Thursday, Steve watches as Soda's face beams into a smile. He hangs up the phone and rushes over to Steve.

"He's alive, he's okay! He's coming home!" Soda jumps up and down a bit, and then runs out of the gas station toward home. Steve is left behind, ringing up the cashier every now and then; left wondering if, as things start to go back to normal, things will ever be the same.

The kid is alright, but Johnny's not and the whole gang is once again torn apart as they wait for Johnny to die. They don't say it, but they all know it, even if they try and deny themselves the truth. The rumble starts with a roaring cry from Dally, "For Johnny!", but ultimately, as the rain falls and the muddy Socs run away, Steve knows this night will not end well.

Pony comes home much later than the rest of them, and confirms Steve's unsettled feeling.

"Johnny's dead."

Later that night, as shots are fired on the innocent, Steve raises his hands in a shaky surrender, to the police, to sorrow, to life.

With two of their members gone, the gang starts to fall apart. Two-Bit starts drinking even more, passing out on street corners and vandalizing whatever he can get his hands on. Steve stays as far away as he can from everyone.

Soda finds him one afternoon alone in the backroom. They acknowledge each other with a nod of their heads. Steve continues to stack the candy, hoping Soda either leaves or says something.

"I'm sorry."

_For what?_ Steve wants to ask. _For kissing me? For deserting me? For even inviting me back to your room? What the hell went wrong?_

He opens his mouth to ask when he discovers Soda already left.

In a few days, he leaves as well. Texas always sounded pretty nice.


End file.
